With so much information at the tips of their fingers, you may worry that your kid’s sense of self esteem is out of order. It’s a tough world and kids need guidance and nurturing to help them make the best choices and to create opportunities. You want to be their biggest fan but they need to develop their own tools to play the game. Support your child’s self-esteem and prepare them for the world ahead.
It’s one thing to understand that you have unconditional love for your child but you need to know how to express it to them. It doesn’t mean showering them with love and kisses at all moments. It’s doing things and being the kind of person they know they can rely upon, one who is available. If a child knows that you ‘have their back,’ then they will feel confident enough in themselves to become their better selves.
Not all parents are good at listening to their child. Be an active listener. Ask questions and offer information about yourself that shows you can relate to your child. The better a listener you are, the more verbal your child will become. It also allows them the opportunity to gain a trusted perspective, which complements their own intuition.
Your kids will do things to shock or disappoint you. However, do your best to get over the poor decisions and to provide positive feedback on the things that kids do to make you proud. Despite its name, a lot of self-esteem is influenced by the people who are closest to us. Receiving ongoing positive feedback along with structure can do wonders.
It can be tempting to compare and contrast your kid’s actions with that of your former self, their siblings, or a friends. However, such a practice is unfair and is not conducive to building good self-esteem. If you want to highlight a person, focus on the qualities you like most about them and then discuss. No one is living a life in which they want to compare themselves to others. We should all do our best to constantly become better versions of ourselves.
Kids yearn for their independence. It’s one reason why siblings like to ‘claim’ their items, toys, etc. Getting them a few personal items from www.Makaboo.com will help facilitate their self-esteem. They’ll be thrilled that a shirt, robe, pajamas, and other personal items are branded with their name! Of course, each sibling may ‘want one too,’ so regardless of having the same sheet, shirt, etc, each one is unique and personalized.
We all need encouragement regarding jobs, relationships, hobbies, etc. Kids need encouragement even more because they have a smaller pool of experiences to develop self-esteem. Most agree that confidence comes with age, and kids need more experiences to develop a solid sense of who they are and their capabilities. Encouragement from parents, family members, and friends helps kids define their personality and sense of self worth.
Support healthy choices that your child makes, understanding that though you share the same genetics, you are not the same people. Offer them guidance without being too overbearing. Attempt to steer them in good directions, but ultimately, let your child make their own choices. It can be painful to see a child make mistakes, but as those with experience know, a lot of wisdom can come from making mistakes.
Consistency is vital yet it can be challenging. For example, if you set a certain hour as your child’s bedtime, don’t allow them to test limits by staying up 10, 15, or 20 minutes passed the set time. This can be difficult for parents as a team, for one parent may be more strict or consistent than the other. Kids are very good at pointing out the obvious differences in parenting styles, so be sure that both parents are consistent with setting rules, being encouraging, etc.
There are many ways to instill values and a sense of good judgment without seeming deliberate and literal. For example, parents who actively read with their child take the time to review what’s happened in a story and ask questions. For example, a parent could ask their child what they would do as the hero or heroine of the story. Also, if a character appears happy, timid, sad, or otherwise, a parent could ask the child why the character feels that way.
Gracie Cooper is a children’s social worker, and a Mom herself to 2 year old Daisy. She writes about personal development in children, how to nurture them and protect them in today’s environment.